name them one by one.

Dear College,

You start tomorrow. Here I am. I have a backpack, pepper spray, and no clue what on earth I’m doing. I went to campus a few days ago and just walked around I know for a fact that I’m going to get lost and that this is where I’m supposed to be. That’s an odd combo, but I think that it fits for me. I cheated in the whole college leaving thing. My mother came with me to help us move, so I didn’t have the whole tearful goodbye like most kids get. I was able to drive around and buy groceries with her. She made me buy chicken. That I’ll have to cook in my oven when the time comes, I’m in fear of that chicken.

I tried not to think about her leaving. Like a small child who thinks that when they can’t see you that you can’t see them, I hid from the truth. Saying goodbye to my friends at home was super hard. But it wasn’t tragic because I know that I’ll see them again. I almost cried but I didn’t. I thought I would be a wreck. The night before my mother left I cried and cried knowing that the next day everything I’ve known was about to change, for real this time. My dad drove up with the big things and to pick up my mother because she left me her car since mine died. After everything got assembled and put in place my heart started racing, I knew it was coming. I could feel it in my bones that this wasn’t going to be good. We all walked down to load the things that we didn’t need and my walls of bravery came crumbling down. My mother hugged me and I wept like a small child. She’s my best friend. I love her more than words can say. Then I hugged my dad, I had to stand on my tippy toes, I felt so little again. He’s my hero. I love him more than words can say. I cried and cried. They got misty too. They drove away with a piece of me.

But, after the tears had dried, woman and I had some fun. We went to a friend’s house and I fell off his play place so I have pretty bruises for church. I’m so glad to have my sister here. I now that it’s cheating a little, but I’m glad I have her to show me how it’s done. We helped our final roommate move in around midnight. Her mother made me laugh so hard. My little condo feels like a home now, because Hailey “brings the show” aka she furnished our house and it looks wonderful.

We went to church this morning. We got there super late, but the closing song was Count Your Blessings and I found a whole new meaning in the hymn.

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.

Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.

When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.

So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

I’m so blessed. You are too. Count your blessings.

With love,

Megan Rose.