he looks pale...

I sat on the red rock outside my house trying to figure out what I was going to do.

I hugged my knees up to my chest and looked at the time again. I could already feel how nervous I was. My elbow was yelling at me and my heart was pounding, but my appointment wasn’t for another four hours. As the little white car pulled up my sister looked to be the essence of calm. She wasn’t nervous. She was brave. After letting me into the house (my key is broken therefore I have to sit on the ‘locked out’ rock quite often) I grabbed my paperwork, we both had to go to the bathroom because we’d been drinking lots of water because they told us to. We rarely spoke on the drive there, only discussing how our father didn’t want us doing this. He told our mother to call us and forbid it. As we pulled into the parking lot a man was leaving the gray building. He looks pale, I thought, am I going to be pale? Holly told me to calm down because I can’t do it if my heart rate is too fast. We walked in and I instantly felt ill. Not because of all the needles and people bleeding, I just felt like I was going to vomit if I didn’t get out of there soon.  

Welcome to the plasma donation center.

Holly went first, because I had to know if I could even do it. I love to give blood, but I’d heard that this was ten times worse on the pain scale. We got her signed in and I realized that I didn’t want to stay there for another three hours that was full of the questionnaire, physical, and then the ‘donation’ process. It’s not a donation if you get paid I though as they kept thanking her for her decision to donate. I took her keys and drove home.

Two and a half hours later she called me and said she was almost done and I should come pick her up. I got into my car and drove to the frightening place again. I parked across the street and did not want to go in again. That’s how bad of a feeling that place gave me. I think it’s the same feeling Hot Topic gives my mother. As I baked in my car waiting, people flooded into the building and more people came gushing out. The place was hopping. I had no idea why. Its twenty dollars the first time you ‘donate’ and thirty the next. Yes, that’s money I honestly don’t have. Yes, that could pay for my share of utilities and cable. But I knew that I wouldn’t be back for my appointment. Holly came out looking pale, I drove to the doors, and she got in the car with goose bumps and a blue bandage across her arm. She described this process for me.

It’s just like giving blood, same needle, same bleeding. But they put the red blood cells back in and that’s the part that hurts. It stings she said. Once you bleed enough to fill about a pint (I think) they inject your red blood cells from the blood back into your body, leaving only the plasma in the bag. Then, they do the same process over again. Ten times. After you finish ten ‘cycles’ you then are injected with saline and are done.

She’s going back on Monday to ‘donate’ again. I didn’t make it to my appointment.

I don’t know what would have happened if I would have gone and done it, but I do know that something was telling me not to. It wasn’t going to be one of my fearless things for the week, which are:

I went cliff diving (I jumped off a little one and that was it!)

Made a new friend

Smiled at Mr. Math (he smiled back people!)

Almost sold plasma

Happy Friday! Did you do anything fearless this week?