facial hair that I don’t want to talk about.

There is a box on my counter. Inside said box is another box in which is the key to having internet. Why then, do you ask, am I at the library? The box doesn’t have my name on it and I ate her boyfriends’ pizza while he was napping.

I’m not one to text in class, especially my American Lit class, but when I got a text on Friday from Lynsie I did the whole ‘I’m grabbing something from my bag’ text reading trick. She asked if I wanted a ride home for the weekend. Yes. Yes I would. I went home for the first time in a month. The drive up was filled with Backstreet Boys and freezing when we got gas. I went to BYU to see those two BYU boys who make me laugh. They gave me a tour of their little apartment, the British one was showing me how clean his room was. I took one step over the threshold and was instantly shoved out. “HONOR CODE” they all screamed. I’m an honor code killer people. The one who helps me with my math took me for a twisty cone that was yucky (sorry, it really was). I then went home. HOMEEE! Past the arc and all my neighbors houses. I was bursting with joy. I walked in, my puppy was so excited to see me she didn’t even bark, and my parents emerged looking overjoyed. Their nest wasn’t empty any more. My father emerged down the stairs with facial hair that I don’t want to talk about. Robin looked as if she was about to cry. I even got to sleep in my own room, Drew put Holly’s mattress in my room so I could. Good man, that Drew, even with the facial hair.

The next day was sad, I realized that it was a very good thing that I went home. My German, aka Taylor, needed me. And I was glad I could joke with the Wendy Bird. ‘Boom-Boom’ passed away on Saturday morning. I didn’t know her well, I’ve only talked to her a few times, but I’ve never met a woman quite like her. Lovely, charming, and a little crazy, but aren’t we all. She will be missed and the party in heaven for her probably was epic.  

Going home made me realize a few things. My life isn’t there anymore. It’s here. I’ve been pondering maybe transferring schools to one that’s closer to home. But today as I walked around campus, I know that there is a reason I am here, I just need to figure it out. There’s a reason that last Thanksgiving when I went on my first tour of this place that I knew it was ‘The One’. Coming back wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, because this is my life now. I need to start living it.

I’ve been fighting change. I’ve put a wall up to protect myself from the new. If I don’t open myself up to the new, I won’t have to lose the old. But, everything we do is about change. I now am trying to be open. Ready to try the next new thing. I’ve made friends I realized. I know a few people. Time is all I need to really grow. I’m here to find myself, not to cling to the old. My best friends aren’t going anywhere; new ones can never replace them.

Plus, today, I saw about a million attractive guys. I think it’s a sign that I need to stick it out here for a little longer.