dating diaries: belt buckle boy (part one)

I’m aware that I’m not supposed to be playing Angry Birds during relief society.

Highly aware.

I was punished for my transgressions, I assure you.

She came and sat in the seat next to me, inquired about my number, and ran away before I could say no.

Naturally I Facebook stalked this young man. All I could really tell from his locked profile was that he was tall, and looked a lot like his brother.

I waited for his call to come.

Then I waited some more.

And then I forgot about it.

Then I got a call from an unknown number.

It was the unknown brother of the big watch guy, who didn’t know I went out with his brother. He called me and just talked.

But not.

He had a deep voice. So deep I could feel the vibrations through the phone. We’re talking super bass. But not.

He wouldn’t talk. I had to bring up every single talking point. Finally I got sick of his one word answers and said, “Well, I have to be going now.” And I hung up.

Again, I’ll admit that I was in the wrong. I should have been a little nicer, but he wasn’t trying all that hard to be nice to me.

I wrote him off.

A week later, I got a call from the same unknown number. Asking me out.

The time and date was set.

And at said time and place, a blue car appeared outside my house.

If you’ve been skimming, like I have been too, this is the part to start paying attention.

I opened the door, and got a wham, bam, shiskomsham, of cologne. It was like he put on the entire bottle. I’ll be the first one to admit that I highly appreciate the good smelling men of the world. If you smell good, I will sniff you, and I’ll like it. But this kid, he was on a new level of smell. I could taste his cologne. And we were outside.

The next thing I noticed, besides his height, was the belt buckle. 3-D wolves.

It was going to be a highly interesting evening.