dear diary.

August 20, 2011.

...I’ve been learning so much while school isn’t in session.

I’ve learned about life. I’ve learned about love. I’ve learned about friendship.

I’ve learned how to diamond a table and how to carry eight pitchers of cranberry juice without spilling a drop on the white carpet.

I’ve learned about forgiveness. I’ve learned about goodbye.

I’m at a point where I’ve figured out that I don’t know myself. That I can’t be anything else because at the end of the day, no matter how perfect I tried to look or act, the flawed face will always be looking back at me. I make mistakes. I say the wrong thing. And that’s okay.

I don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is boring. Perfection is safe.

I’ve always put up this front that I’ve got it all together. I fix my hair and make-up. I go to the gym and try to not eat too much.  I wear the right clothes.

But guess what? It’s okay to be alive.

It’s okay to be wrong.

I promised myself at the end of the school year that I’d make the choice to be happy, and I believe I’ve lived up to that promise.

Let’s be real honest here. I’m so, so frightened of September 9^th. I get nervous just thinking about moving again. I hate leaving. I hate goodbyes. But it’s like Nicki says, “I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive, I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise. To fly.”

I’m going to be okay, no matter what happens.