here we go again.

I remember when I was little and my family was leaving to go somewhere, I’d hear my dad open the garage and think he was leaving me. I’d cry and run out the door, only to find him waiting there for me. He didn’t leave me after all.

Today as I openly wept in a pie shop, I had that same felling. I had a first class break down in a pie shop and in the parking lot of my new apartment building.

That’s right kids. Meg Deck is back in college.

Let the tears begin.

I haven’t been able to eat an entire meal since I’ve been here. I vomit, or feel like it, every single time I eat.

My roommates are great. Campus is beautiful. No joke, I walk through the garden to all my classes. The Heroic Journey is in a building that looks like a Zelda temple. That’s my center, I base everything off of that building. I may not know how to get to my house half the time, but as Robin and Drew helped me find all my classes they fell in love with the campus.

Robin even made me a map.

I got a little excited when I found vomit on the sidewalk. It was kinda like being back at Dixie State.

My parents came with me to help me move. They stayed the night in a hotel and left this morning. As I wept in the parking lot, I kept begging them to let me come. I just wanted to go home.

Don’t leave me.

                Please, please don’t make me do this.

                                I just don’t want to be here.

                Let me go home.

Please.

                Please.

We all cried together. Looking like loons in the parking lot, that’s my family. We love each other.

I’d be lying if I said that I know that things are going to be okay.

My sheets smell funny. This isn’t my house. That’s not my shower.

This time was a million times harder than when they left me at Dixie last year. My heart is broken. I’m all alone.

But I’m not.

I have Quinci. She came in and rubbed my back as I cried.

I have my new roommates. They are my built in family here. I just have to get to know them.

I have Heavenly Father. He’s trying to teach me something right now, I just have to figure it out.

I have my family. I am nothing without my family.

No. Meg. Don’t cry again.

I can’t talk about them right now.

Robin made me promise I’d say five good things about BYU-Idaho every day. You’ll find them on the side, under gratitude.

Okay?

It’s going to be okay friends.

I just lied a little.

I will be okay. Eventually.