I’m lost. Confused. Unknown.
I’m frightened.
I know, I’ve made my mind up about seventeen thousand times. I’m so very frightened I’m going to make the wrong choice.
I thought I did, honestly I did.
Guess what?
I’m not sure I did anymore.
But, then I remember why I decided to apply to BYU-I, I remember how excited I was about it, I remember.
I forgot how much I love it here. I have friends now, a job, a life.
I do not know where I’m attending school in the fall.
Honestly and truly.
And, it’s time for me to make up my mind. For real. Final. Set in stone. All that jazz.
Holly and I looked at an apartment today. It smelled like old people and bingo night is the third Wednesday of every month.
But, I looked online at the apartment Quinc and I would live in. I liked it better. Shh!
Ugh.
I’ve Googled, ChaCha’d, and prayed.
And, I still have no idea where I’m attending school.
I’m frightened because I’ve made a life for myself here, I have lovely friends who I’m going to miss when I move home for the summer, no matter if I come back in the fall, I’ll miss them. I have a job and I don't get so lost anymore.
But, a new adventure. I was so sure that I was supposed to transfer, positive. BYU is a dream. Quinci Lou Lou is waiting for me there. I've always been a cougar.
There’s been talk of deferring until next year, when I’ll be finished with my associates, making a clean transfer.
There’s been talk of staying, working my butt off and getting my grades up and going to BYU Provo next year.
There’s been talk of me going, and loving it.
There’s been lots and lots of talk.
It’s time to make a choice Meg.
Ugh.
Help.
For real. Comment.
You're letting fear rule you and that's not what HF would EVER have you do. I remember talking to you about going to BYU-I and how you knew it's where you're supposed to be. Have you prayed about it? A testimony isn't something that you get once and then have forever. You have have to constantly replenish and relearn what you know. You need to choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism. You WANT to stay in St. George but HF has told you where you NEED to be. :) Love you and call if you need to chat.
ReplyDeleteI love you forever and ever no matter what you choose :)
ReplyDeletei love that song.
ReplyDeleteplug in stereo's swell.
but, so are you.
and i know you'll choose what better fits and suits you.
and you won't regret it. :)
typically, the lord wants us to make a decision for ourselves and then ask him if that's the right decision. or rather, the wrong decision.
ReplyDeleteso choose one, pray, and sleep on it.
good luck bayla.
[I prefer byu-i myself.]
You know Provo is where the party's AT!
ReplyDeleteEver since I've known you, you have constantly been searching for happy. Your constantly scared. And that's fine. We're all God's children. But I am here to say my two cents. I know you have made a life down there and I am so happy you have (trust me the mixes were getting depressing). But change is constant. Next year will not be the same as this year. You get a chance to go, start over YET again, this time with your best friend in tow. It sounds like a crazy adventure. I'm sure that Dixie is fun. But don't choose it because it's comfortable. You have a beautiful opportunity handed to you and the people you are going to meet it's going to be a friggin friend fest. It's going to be hard at times. But remember how much you hated Dixie at first too. With that said, it's your decision, I just thought I would mention it. I don't know when the next mix is so I couldn't wait for that. So pray again. But just remember those things
ReplyDeleteand take some of your own lovely advice: either way you'll never know if you choose the right one." ha.